No One Would Be Surprised if Something This Absurd Happens

by Jason Unger

Just the other day we talked about how banks are getting hit hard financially by the drop in overdraft and other fees, which made up a big portion of their profits in the post-housing collapse economy.

So would it be surprising if banks introduced some new “creative” fees to make up the difference?

Of course not.

This is from The Onion, so it’s not real, but let’s be frank: no one would be surprised if something like this actually happened.

Bank Of America Introduces New $50 Underdraft Fee

CHARLOTTE, NC—Saying the penalty will cover the costs incurred by the financial institution whenever a customer makes a withdrawal that results in a positive account balance, Bank of America introduced a new $50 underdraft fee Tuesday on all checking and savings accounts.

“Beginning today, we will assess a fee on customers who withdraw less money than they have available,” bank spokesperson Melissa Scott told reporters, noting that the $50 surcharge will automatically be deducted any time a patron uses a Bank of America debit card or check to make a purchase that is less than the dollar amount of his or her account balance.

“We’re confident this new fee shouldn’t be an issue for most of our customers. As long as account holders remain vigilant about their finances, and make sure not to withdraw too little money, they should be able to conduct their banking business as usual without ever receiving a ‘sufficient funds’ notice.”

To further incentivize customers against repeating such a financial mistake, Scott added that the fee will increase with each additional underdraft, with the penalty rising to $75 for a second offense, $150 for a third offense, and a value equal to the remaining balance of one’s account for any additional underdraft committed thereafter.


It’s hilarious, but hilariously nerve-wracking at the same time. What will they come up with next?

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